i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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