I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just want to make out with him forever
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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