It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
