Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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