i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
