It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
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I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
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You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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