So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
