Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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