how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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