Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
