Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
