A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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