do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
