I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
