he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
