I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
