Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize