Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize