Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
