i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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