Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
