The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
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