I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
