I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He passed out mid-signature
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
