he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
