you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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