Have you finally orgasmed yet?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
this will be a night to untag.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
