White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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