that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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