Yo dont text me then not text me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
