I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
