Cold hands, warm shart.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
