Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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