Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
