already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
