the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
