I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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