Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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