Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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