the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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