Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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