...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
