Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
