before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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