at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.