I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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