On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Holy shit dude........stairs
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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