you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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