The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
