he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
