Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
