Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
