Small penises have feelings too.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
