I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Randomize
