My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
