You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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