Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
